I've been wanting to post an addendum to my husband's original post "Why the Full Quiver" for a while now.
In his post my husband emphasized that we desire a large family. Which we do. We love our children, we love being parents, and knowing that children are a blessing and heritage from the Lord, we would love to have a large family.
However, for me, this wasn't the main reason I was convicted about not using birth control. There were actually two main reasons completely independent of wanting a large family!
The first was mainly the abortificient nature of all, yes *all*, hormonal methods of birth control. What I mean by this is that the pill, the patch, the IUD, etc etc, don't *prevent* fertilization from occuring! Sperm can still meet egg and produce a brand new life (and yes, we understand that life begins at conception, where the heck else would it begin?). Hormonal methods of birth control simply prevent the new embryo from attaching to the uterine lining. Therefore new baby just gets flushed out with a woman's normal period. Basically like a miscarriage.
If I had to go with any method of BC as being superior to another, for this reason I would have to say that barrier methods are better. Although I am not in anyway trying to promote BC.
The second reason was a more spiritual one. Mainly, who was I going to let be in control of this very important decision of children and how many in my life and marriage? Once married you, of course, look to your husband, but luckily we were on the same page with this one.
I just couldn't reconcile trying to let God be in control of all areas of my life as a Christian, but take this one very vital and important area and basically say, "No, God, I don't trust you here. If I give you control you'll zap me with 18 kids. So, I'll just keep this one to myself, thank you! After all, I'm not even sure 5 or 6 kids would be good for me...and I know what's best for me, better than You do, at least in this area."
This took a lot of wrestling on my part. First of all, I haven't always wanted a large family. Secondly, this meant giving up some of my personal dreams, and *gulp* sacrificing for my husband and eventual family (should we have one).
Neither seemed that appealing. And besides, if God is in control, can't He work around birth control?
God placed some people in my life though, and some written works, that helped me understand that fertility is NOT a given. It is not automatic. God *IS* indeed, the one who opens and closes the womb. And of course God can work around birth control. But why in the world would I want God to have to work *against* me in order to bless me? Isn't it just easier to trust Him completely, rather than trust that He can bless me against my will if He chooses? I decided it was just easier to trust Him completely.
Thankfully, God has blessed us with three beautiful children in almost five years of marriage, hopefully with more to come. Cynics would say this is, "of course" what would happen when two young people don't use birth control. But I know better. I know that this is not just "what happens".
This is a blessing directly from God, each child was chosen and formed by Him, and He can choose to close my womb, and determine our family size is big enough at any time that seems right to Him.
I'm so grateful that the Lord convicted me of this shortly before we were married. I don't have any regrets as far as what could have been, and what I might have missed, because this is the conviction we've had our whole married life. I don't have the stress of deciding when I should or shouldn't have children, and then the sadness that some couples feel when they realize it's not as easy as they think to turn feritily on and off at will.
I'm so blessed, and I rest in the fact that my Lord and Saviour is surely a sovereign God. Nothing happens outside of His will, and He has promised to take care of His own.
Praise the Lord!!!